When it comes to repairing relationships, many of us will need to unlearn some unhealthy behaviors. Many of us learned, or assumed, that in relationship conflict, we need to convince, coerce, convict or control. People have tried to do this to you, and perhaps you’ve tried to do it to other people. But every time a person uses the 4 C’s, incredible damage is done to the relationship. So, when a relationship is strained, how do you begin to put it back together? It begins by identifying the right goal. It is to live like Jesus.